Jerry Yoda
by TCWatson
Summary: My own little twist on StarWars. You've all seen at least 1 episode of Jerry Springer, well now, you have the Jerry Ypda show, just as messed up, and thses guys ain't hired. ATTENTION: R
1. Episode 1

The first episode Jerry Yoda.  
  
"Welcome ladies and gents to the first episode of Jerry Yoda," the small green figure says making his way down the stairs. " I am your host, Jerry Yoda. Don't we have a show for you, we will bring you anything from tranvesties,jedis, sith lords and apprentices, and you never know maybe someone/thing with a normal problem. Lets go to a commercial," Yoda says spinning around pointing at the nearest camera.  
  
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The crowd stands and begins to chant, " YODA YODA YODA."  
  
" Welcome back ladies and gentelmen. alien life forms, and anything else that maybe viewing. Lets welcome our first guest Darth Maul, apprentice to Senator Palpatein A.K.A Darth Sidieous. Maul has some deep DARK thing that he would like to reveal to his master here tonight. So what do you want to reveal to your master?"  
  
" Well Yoda, you see a few months ago I killed a Jedi and was killed in action afterwards by this stud of a Jedi, though it was a different Jedi. Obi-Wan, but before I went into action my master cloned me. Thats how I am capable of coming here today. Anyways, I want to tell him I can no longer stay with the darkside if I am to love this Jedi." Maul says smiling from behined his cloak.  
  
" Well, lets welcome Darth Sidious."  
  
Sidious bursts out from behind the stage clenching a lightsaber in one hand and a fist in the other, " I am gonna woop you littel scrawny ass. Not wanting to stay with the dark side," he says throwing punches, while two secruity guards grabbed him. He quickly slices through them with ease. " Now it is your turn you littel fucking ass cheek." He pulles the saber across the stomache of one of the guards and through Maul." Hey Yoda, we'll meet again, but sorry for the mess," he says walking off stage.  
  
" Well that was short. well since we having nothing else to say except,ladies and gentlemen this is another case of LOVE and LUST. Well I will see you soon with Lesbians, Hookers, transvestites, and nycrohphilyacts, and maybe on the show. This is Jerry Yoda saying BYE BYE! 


	2. Episode 2

To reader this is very very SLASHISH. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jerry Yoda: Episode 2.  
  
" Welcome to the show, good show we have for you today. Jedi Master Obi-Wan and Padwon Skywalker. Will the reveal their feelings true? Find out after the Break"  
  
The Crowd stands and chants " YODA YODA YODA!!!".  
  
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" Welcome back, lets welcome Skywalker. You something say have you?"  
  
" Yeah , my Mater Obi-Wan , he is a real nice man and all but, I have really seen a side of him lately, that I really like. It turns me on. AND I MEAN ON!!!! The way the sun glimmers of that beard it is so sexy."  
  
" Well now, weird that is. I think Skywalker's is sensing a force disturbance, in his pants."  
  
" Now come on Yoda, I am baring my intermost," Annie reaches into his cloak and pulls out his light-saber, put it to his crouch. " See I get like this when Master Kenobi uses that sexy Jedi talk on people. It turns me on."  
  
Yoda's eyes widen, " I turn you on? Self note: DO NOT talk Jedi." Clears throat and sounds like the voice for commercials ( male), and talks straight. " Now lets welcome Obi-Wan."  
  
Obi-Wan walks down the stairs with the Jedi theme playing. He pulls up a chair , spins it backwards and spreads legs and slouches on it looking over at Annie.  
  
" Now Skywalker did you bring this big "HUNK" here to look at him or did ya bring him on to tell him something."  
  
" Master, I have something to tell you, I want you. Everytime you talk it turns me on."  
  
" Wow, my young padawon has pass the test."  
  
" The test master?"  
  
" Yes , the test to see if you can see if I am in love with your wife. Amadala. Her and I have been seeing each other since the last encounter of Count Dukoo. "  
  
" You what? I felt things for you and her. And you both stabbed me in the back. She was right. Us loving each other would destroy us."  
  
" Looks Like Obi-Wan and Annie have a inter-apprentice feud. This kind of stuff can only be found here on the ' Jerry Yoda show'. Well we have to to a commercial maybe Amadalla will give us a surprise visit.  
  
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And now back to Jerry Yoda.  
  
The crowd stands and chant " Yoda Yoda Yoda"  
  
" Welcome back, I won't to introduce those of you whom just joined our show To Obi-Wan, Anikan Skywalker, and the beautiful Amadalla.  
  
" Annie, the reason I slept with Obi-Wan is because he so much more experienced with a Jedi whip. The way he spanks my a** with it is the best. But still I love you. And I have something to tell you. I am pregnant with twins. They are yours. I hope you can forgive me for this obscure act."  
  
" How could you do this. But yes I forgive you. Those Twins. Can we call them Luke and Leahia? Those are beautiful names."  
  
" Now baby, what about me and you?"  
  
" Obi-Wan we are through I never wanna play find the whole with you again."  
  
" So now this is settled people You and Annie are still together and Obi- Wan and Blow-up Cindy are back together again? Well jeese isn't this a happy ending?"  
  
The crowd stands up an chants again as Jerry Yoda walks up to the " Thought Box"  
  
" Well ladies and gentlemen this is another case of LOVE and LUST. Lets hope this doesn't work out and these three come on the show again. Well I will see you soon with Lesbian Hookers, transvestites, and nycrohphilyacts, and maybe one the show. 


End file.
